For months now my home on the net has been so stressful, such an unsafe place. I’ve been crying and struggling and praying and seeking the Lord about what was going on. I’ve been accused of so many things including being unorthodox and theologically dangerous and spiritually abusive. Interestingly, no one has been able to tell anyone when I was those things. I’m unorthodox because I verified that many Messianics believe that the sacrifices will be reinstituted in the New Temple. And I’m okay with that because 1) it will be Jews sacrificing, and 2) any Messianics who would sacrifice would be doing it as a rememberance, not to cover anything. In OT times it was not an atonement that was offered by sacrifices, it was to cover sins. When you cover a sin it’s still there but it isn’t seen; when a sin is atoned for, it’s gone. Washed away, pure as snow *amen* Apparently I’m theologically dangerous because I push the envelope. I’m not reformed; I’m willing to ask questions; I’m of the opinion that God is bigger than our theologies and am not impressed with quotes from books As for how I’m spiritually abusive, that can only be understood by accepting that the people involved don’t know me at all. They came to conclusions based on gossip, they judged me based on those conclusions, and they filtered EVERYTHING that happened after that point through their judgments. I wrote one person, during all of this, to ask if they were guilty of leaking information from a private forum. I acknowledged that our minds were not aligned (we disagreed about what should be done) and theologically not aligned, but was her heart with me? Was she being a true friend. Somehow she twisted that to be me asking her to make a hearth oath of loyalty HUNH? That would be sick and twisted if it were anywhere near true

and during this all they were intending to start their own board. Why does that have to be a bad thing? Why couldn’t they just say that’s what they wanted to do. Why stick around and act horribly and drag us through mediation and months of trying to work things out when they were just going to leave in the middle of the night? There were threats, strong arming, demands, accusations, and behavior that is unethical and, in other venues, downright illegal. There were lies, gossip, and so much heartache that I could barely go on. I almost left my home online so many times

But I’m glad I didn’t. Because now that these people have left there is such peace! There is freedom and joy and a new breath of fresh air that is causing people to begin posting with new vigor and in forums they used to avoid. People are acting so much more comfortable and I know I am. It’s like it used to be before some of these people came. And we’re growing–beautifully. Lots of people finding a refuge and finding their voice. It’s a beautiful thing