and I have to say I’m disappointed at the blatant evolutionary creation story and the presentation of man in the first 3 chapters.  Granted, he does say it’s his ideas about how it happened, but we skipped a lot or talked about how we disagreed.  It would have given us more discussion but we’ve talked about all of it before.

What I’ve skimmed through was from actual recorded history so I’m assuming it will get a lot better   But the children are doing the Ancient Greece curriculum.  They are doing a hidden picture game and enjoying it. It is very beautiful and engaging and the crafts are explained in step by step instructions for what you can do for real.

The craft we’re doing today is to build a paper mache world.  I have a big balloon, newspaper, paints, etc.  We’ll build it today and then paint it tomorrow.

trying to get as much JUNK out to the edge of the curb for a 13th bulk pickup.  It’s embarrassing how much is out there already and it feels like we haven’t even scratched the surface.  We’ve done most of the backyard and 1/3 of the garage.  Basically we have all the stuff we moved and didn’t need/fit into this house from 3 years ago, stuff we didn’t know what to do with when we cleaned it out 2 years ago, everything decluttered since including clothes and things that children have outgrown that we didn’t have time with the twins to do anything about, and then the stuff that actually goes there. Add in from the yard everything that was destroyed by the weather and the neighborhood children last year and it’s a HUUUUUUUGE pile!  Especially considering EVERYTHING in our backyard that wasn’t destroyed by the weather WAS destroyed by neighbor kids *smacks head*.  We had our swingset (granted, we got it used) completely taken to task and we had our trampoline cut.

Needless to say THIS YEAR the policy is NO neighborhood children in the backyard AT ALL–EVER!  And we’re going to put a new gazebo, trampoline, and swing set up there. I’d like to get a pool but I’m not sure it’s safe with the twins or that I’d be willing to sit outside and supervise enough. Though it would be nice in the afternoon/evening when dh got home. Still thinking on that

Thankfully, other than some melted wax, our table is still good, and the chairs (though we may need to get new cushions).

Anyway, I also cleaned the kitchen up because it fell apart the last couple of days but it’s gorgeous now   And dh has to take a break for an hour or two and go work on the grounds of dd’s dance school.  Which leads me to conclude we won’t get much more done today. BUT, we do have the next few evenings if dh can get anything done while I’m working.  And there’s always next bulk pickup next quarter *rolleyes*

and I’m both terrified and excited.

After years of being debilitatingly sick and getting positive result after positive result I finally got a clue when I asked for the parathyroid levels to be tested. My mother recently had an elevated parathyroid level as well as very low vit D and advanced osteoporosis. The new doctor I was seeing while waiting for mine to come into the room was rather dismissive of this idea because, “That’s only an issue with post menopausal women,” but thank God my doctor came in with, “You want them tested? Sure!”

Normal is between 18 and 65 and mine was 110!!!

Now, normally this accompanies even slightly elevated calcium levels and mine are low/normal which means, with my celiac, that is more likely the cause. BUT the exception, and the evidence that you have both celiac and hyperparathyroid is if calcium levels were elevated before the malabsorption issues kicked in.

So I talked to my mom about the “calcium” issues I had on a test when I was about 11 and she said that the doctor had told her the calcium levels were through the roof and far too high to be accurate.

This means . . . almost guaranteed, a parathyroid tumor. Since my health issues go back to a very sudden change when I was 7, combined with my starting to develop puberty issues (the parathyroid is right behind the thyroid), and other endocrine symptoms, and EVERY symptom I have is a symptom of hyperparathyroid–including the ACID REFLUX!

My only concern now is, because of the celiac, what extra tests they will need to do. In fact, I’m so convinced from everything I’m reading on my own, that I’d do the surgery without the scan (what the leading hospitals do when malabsorption isn’t an issue because without that thrown in it’s a 100% guarantee of a tumor!!!)

And the kicker is . . . after 30 years of being sick . . . after this difficult, encumbered, debilitating life I’ve led . . . after having to work 10 times harder than anyone else to accomplish what I do . . . within a month I could have TOTAL health in my body! I’m ready to cry.

If you think of me tomorrow please pray. I’ll update when I know something.

I love when I preach and someone says that–and I got to say it to Rabbi yesterday I asked if he wrote the sermon after reading my pokethebeast.com entry. He was very curious. The sermon was on 1 John 3 and John could have honestly entitled it pokethebeast.com. He’s talking about people who hate you just because you are on the room and you can’t figure out why and he points out they hate you because they hated the one who is in you–they don’t “know” you (with intimacy) because they don’t know Him.

He talked about the Olan Haba (sp?) which is the “tomorrow” in Hebraic thought. It is the peaceful era that the Messiah ushers in when he comes (the second time ). But his first coming allowed those of us who love him to plant our foot firmly in the Olan Haba and those who are firmly in this world (the realm of sin and flesh) cannot recognize us. HOW do we have joy? HOW do we have peace? HOW is our life not the mess theirs is?????

And not all, but some, just hate us for it. Our very presence in a room magnifies how far from the Olan Haba they are. Our very joy magnifies their misery. Our very peace magnifies their unrest. And when people feel bad they act bad–towards us. Because if we would just go away they would not have to face the reality of how bad things are for them. If they could just be around other miserable people they would feel “normal” and okay.

Of course sometimes people who are rooted in the Olan Haba do get these people attaching to them–almost living vicariously through them. “If I am in good with so and so who is in good with God then I’ll be in good with God.” I’m not negating that experience–just sticking with what John was writing about in this verse.

And John warns against hating these people. A very strong reminder. Thankfully I learned the lesson long ago but explaining it has been hard until Rabbi put a much finer point on it. He said that the reason John calls hate murder is because when someone treats you horribly and you hate them for it, you justify their rejection of Messiah (for whom you are a representative) and you push them farther away from Messiah and less likely to ever embrace Him. And THAT is murder.

He also talked about being encouraged during these times instead of discouraged. And THIS was what I needed to hear. This was the message that was for me *heart*

holy and unholy? Which is the issue? Well, the real question would be “the issue for what?” Because holy or unholy is the issue of sin, and our need for a savior. But good or bad is about behavior and that is where our discipline must be focused. If I try to parent my children in a way that addresses their holiness as primary I am playing God. If I try to parent my children by assessing whether their behavior is good or bad (or, to put it another way, acceptable or unacceptable) then I can be their parent. That doesn’t mean that I don’t teach *about* holiness. That is the entire context of my parenting. Deuteronomy tells me to teach these things (Torah/God’s Standard) to my children daily, thinking of them when I sit in our house, walk by the way, lie down, and rise up. And Proverbs assures me that if I train (better translated “steep”) them in the way they should go (again, Torah) when they are old they will not depart from it. Why? Because it will be all they know and to reject it requires rejecting their entire existence.

There are lots of really good people who will go to hell. Why? Because they are unholy. And some bad acting people who will be in heaven. Why? Because despite their human struggles they have Jesus’ atoning blood covering their sins and they are holy in his eyes. This is at the heart of why we are told to not judge our neighbor. We can only judge good or bad. We cannot see into the heart to judge holy or unholy.

So I model holiness; teach holiness; guide into holiness. And I discipline/teach behavior. In the context of discipline this means I must judge whether a behavior is good or bad. This is different from judging the heart (holy/unholy)–this is a judging that we must do with one another. This is the judging that signals to us, “This is simply not okay and must be addressed.” But it does not indicate, because we can’t judge it, holiness or unholiness. This is where many people get stuck and the parenting experts swoop in to explain it.

See, they would say that bad behavior IS unholiness. And, therefore, you must address the unholiness in order to demand the behavior be good. But this is confusing issues. Does the child who was previously unholy because of bad behavior suddenly become holy because of good behavior? Has your correction of their behavior changed their standing before God?

Holy or Unholy is how they stand before God. It is what only Jesus, using the Holy Spirit, is addressing in our children’s lives. And it is through grace that God saves us and our children.

Good or bad is how they stand before us. It is the area in which WE can offer them grace. And the statement “people who feel good act good; people who feel bad act bad” is the means through which we can offer them grace. When we remember this simple truism we can be reminded to address the feelings before we address the behavior. If a child is operating out of their feelings it is a waste of time to attempt to address the behavior before addressing the feelings. Consider the feelings the roadblock to addressing the behavior. If the roadblock of feelings is removed it is likely the behavior will resolve itself.

Just as an example, let’s say two children are fighting. Why? Because she hit me. Why? Because he took my toy. Why? In fact, most situations can be pursued back through both children for many “turns” of what motivated their behavior. And the precipitating cause will always justify to a child the reaction they thought was appropriate. When we are willing to entertain that their “reason”, no matter how childish to us, is valid to them, we can see that they were not just being “mean” or “rude” or even “sinful”. They are being children. It takes a moment to reflect the feeling, validate the emotions, calm the child, and then address the wrong of the behavior. Giving them that moment, that effort, is grace.

Jesus didn’t come to us and call us all sinners and remind us we were doomed to hell and make sure we knew how lucky mankind was that he was willing to come and take care of that problem of sin–and how grateful we must be. He actually came as one of us, faced the problems we face, overcame them and modeled for us how to do it according to the manual. He loved us, he died for us–and after feeding, healing, loving and mentoring us. Then, when we are able to love him because he first loved us, he steps up and dies–and asks us to let that death take the place of the one we owe. That is grace.

Grace sees beyond the sin, beyond the unholiness, through the bad behavior, and to the heart of the person who needs love and grace. Whether we are the one who deals with holiness (which we aren’t, that is God ) or the one who deals with bad behavior (as the parents), when grace is applied, we shepherd the heart.