I’ve mentioned before that there is a place for a limited use of rewards in a GBD home.  I thought I’d share one way we’re doing this now.

I am opposed on so many levels to Yu Gi Oh cards.  I don’t think they are evil or anything, but they are a consumer driven game that is designed to keep you consuming and I don’t want to instill this in my children. At the same time, they play a certain amount of time each day with the neighborhood children and this is what the public school boys are playing.  So this is what my children want.  I could take a hardnosed stance and say no way, but I do want to encourage them to be socially relevant and have relationships with the neighborhood children.

We don’t have a lot of money to give them a full allowance at this point and, as I thought about it and was trying to work out a way to do it, I realized that they’d just spend their money on these cards which are not cheap.  So I found a way to make it work.  I buy the packages of cards and my children have the potential of earning two of them a day (except on Sabbath).  The two opportunities they have are:  1) positiive participation in homeschooling for the day with a good attitude and 2) cleaning their room.

There is no special thing they are working towards (after so many you get X). It’s a pure tit for tat.  You do the work you get the card. It’s like a paycheck.  There are no exceptions, no extra credit, and no getting the card without doing the work. And there is no punishment or additional loss for not doing the work.  It’s helping us establish the habit of good efforts in both areas on a daily basis.

At some point we’ll stop doing this. If I don’t have the money for it they’ll not get them for the days until we have them again–we’ve already btdt, but when we have them, it offers something fun and extra for them.  A little extra motivation.

And with ds1’s special needs I do sometimes have to be more black and white and immediate for him than other children.  The inherent rewards and benefits are not always motivators because he doesn’t *get* it if it’s not in front of him.  “Fun” is a greater motivator because the payoff is now. So having something that he wants fashioned to something that he may be ambivalent about can sidestep the ODD issues and garner cooperation even if it’s a little extra effort.

Another thing we’ve brought back after dropping it for awhile is recognition that results in a drawing. If we catch a child doing something especially cooperative–behaving really well when we know they’ve been exposed to an allergen, cooperating with each other even during a difficult time, being very helpful with the bubbies, etc., they get a little ticket that acknowledges what they were doing and the end of it rips off and gets their name on it for a drawing.  I got them from the Teaching Stuff store.  Once a week we are doing a drawing for something like a date with mom or dad, the privelage of choosing the next video rental, or something else.  Everyone gets a chance to win before they get to be drawn again and only one drawn a week so it’s just a special thing that can happen, but it’s not enough to be the motivator for behavior.  It’s like a blessing for children already doing what they are expected to do.

I’ve put together a schedule/routine for the day that I think is finally working for us.  I’ve been sick this last week and until Friday when I had to go to an emergency dr appt I pretty much held it together.

8am Breakfast/get ready for day
9am Math (including problem solving)
9:30am Social Studies (includes SOTW, maps, government, etc)
10am  Language Arts (includes reading, grammar and art)
10:30 am  Spelling and handwriting
11 am  Chapter Books
11:30 am lunch
NOON  TV time (including video games which they earn minutes on with their math pages–10 minutes per math page)
1 pm  Babies down for nap and play time for older children
2 pm  Clean house
3 pm prepare dinner and get ready for dh to get home
4 pm  dinner or snack
OUTSIDE or Free Play/Family Time
7:30 pm  dinner or snack
8:30 pm bath/get ready for bed
9 pm  bedtime

I tend to struggle when it comes to the afternoon because with the fibro and chronic fatigue issues I’m sometimes worn out, but I am getting most of it done.  And I did dinner 3 days this week which is more than I’ve done most weeks for some time. The key is starting them early.  The big goal for me this first week was the homeschooling anyway and that went great! We accomplished so much with so little fuss.

http://www.50shekel.com/index.cfm

that’s a combination of buying in bulk and shopping European

I’ll be buying once a month in bulk–all canned goods and everything for our baking (which really makes eating gluten free on a budget do-able)

I’ll be going once a week to Trader Joe’s for things like Toilet Paper and the staples we run out of or need just for the week

And I’ll be walking like the European women to the grocery store once a day to get produce for the evening meal and for the next day.  This way we won’t be wasting produce.  And I’ll be getting 30 minutes of walking exercise a day *woohoo*

I’ve jut finally worked through to dealing with our schedule for the day, our food schedule, and our finances according to the principles I’ve been using in my home–combining decluttering and the principles of “Organizing From The Inside Out”.  I’m an ENFP, a strong Abstract Random and very strong Concrete Random.  I eat what I feel like eating–doesn’t matter what the calendar says we’re having for dinner. Add in twin toddlers and how often dh ends up making dinner at the last minute and doesn’t know how to make what I’ve put on the list–and I’ve been feeling like a failure for overspending in the food department.  We’re already on an unrealistically tight budget and have a family of 7 we have to feed–but when I buy for the planned meals and then supplement with what we really eat I’ve been scratching my head over the stocked pantry, stuffed fridge, full freezer and amount of wasted food combined with “we have nothing to eat!”  But it’s not me–it’s that I have been fighting myself in my approach.  I’ve been setting myself up for failure!

It does help that the little IGA is a local farmer’s market for produce and doesn’t have much else we can eat so it’s not a lot of temptation for impulse buys

We’re on day three of eating this way and are committed to trying it through May and seeing if we can get our budget under control.  For three days we’ve been eating a lot more fresh foods, I’ve been preparing the meals because I have ideas instead of hurdles for dinner, and I’m feeling a lot better. Even though we’ve been out of flour to make bread we’ve still been eating well. And running out of apples or something that’s a staple fruit wise doesn’t seem like a huge hurdle.  Plus, when I went the other day I had one thing in mind and found something else cost less so I adjusted the meal right then and there.  It was free flowing and wonderful and felt organic and right.  I’m less stressed and much happier about meal planning.

today I patched all of the huge gaping wall-less areas in our bedroom wall that have been open since the plumbers ripped the wall apart before Christmas!  I just couldn’t take it anymore   But I’ve been intimidated by the drywalling and now I don’t know why   It was hard work but fun.  I loved the “mud”–sort of like working with really moist clay. And it’s nice because our walls are plastered so there is no fancy texture to replicate.  As they dry they look even better.

This week I’m going to tackle the two holes in the dining room. Then we’ll be able to paint it the orange I picked out.

And dh got a bit done on the shower demolition–it’s just shy of being done but I need it done so we can work on the bathroom and get that done.  We still have to finish the wall dh started building in the boys’ room and there are huge holes in the walls in the laundry room but that’s my least concern right now *rolleyes*

It’s taking time, but it’s slowly coming together